The Saga Of The Wheelchair Ramp

Back in June my sister-in-law called me and told me her son wanted to put in a wheelchair ramp on the front of our house for his Eagle Scout project. She said that the companies that her husband owned would sponsor it. I, of course, cried with gratitude as we had no idea how we were going to get a ramp for our house and with Georgia going to school now it is hard to get her out to the bus in the morning. Well, June went by. And so did July. I called my sister-in-law to make sure everything was okay because I had heard you can't do your eagle project for a family member. She assured me everything was fine and her son already had his approval. August came. School started. I called my sister in law again to see if her son was going to do the ramp. She assured me that he still was. September came. By this point I called my brother, who is a contractor and explained the situation. He generously offered to help build the ramp if my nephew wasn't able to do it for his project. We tentatively scheduled to rip out our stairs the weekend after Labor Day. The day before the scheduled demolition Darryl again called his sister. She said her son was definitely going to do it and that he had a plan and everything. We explained that we had neither seen nor heard anything and at the very least he needed to let us know his plan since it was our house that was going to be altered. So we cancelled the demo with my brother. About a week later my nephew finally came out to our house with the contractor that my sister in law had hired. They took a few pictures and we discussed what we thought would work for our house. The contractor said he would send the pictures to an architect who would come up with some sketches. After that I heard nothing. Finally at the end of September I texted my nephew to see if we could get a date as to when he was going to start the ramp. He explained that it was golf season (he's on his high school golf team) and the state championship was on October 4th and he couldn't do it until after that and he apologized for not being able to do it sooner. I said that was fine and I understood how busy high school was but I needed him to do it no later than October 13 because the weather was getting colder and soon we wouldn't be able to pour cement. He said that was fine. I further explained that if he couldn't do it to please let me know because I had another nephew who could do it for his project and wanted to do it. Then at the family barbeque a few days later my sister in law explained that the 13th was fall break and her family would be going on vacation to Lake Powell. I said "well what about the weekend of the 6th, he'll be done with golf and its before your vacation?" She said she would talk to the contractor to see if he was available. I then didn't hear anything. I assumed that he would do it the weekend of the 20th since there were no more excuses. So on the 16th I texted my nephew again and asked him if we were good to go on the ramp for the 20th. I never got a response. Finally on the 18th Darryl called his sister and asked her what was going on. She said "oh didn't I tell you (my son) got asked to the Sadie Hawkins dance." Darryl explained that we really needed this ramp and it was getting colder and soon we'd be out of time to do it. She said that her son and husband and the contractor were going to meet that night and formulate a plan and he would see if the girl that invited him to the dance was planning a day date and maybe they'd be able to do it Saturday. She asked my husband for his email address so that her son could send him the plan as well as the architect's rendering for us to look at. Darryl told her okay but we need to hear what the plan is. She assured us her son would send us an email that night. We again heard nothing. After again not getting any information I called my brother and said that we needed to just do the ramp. Saturday the 20th was the last warm beautiful day and would have been perfect for getting the ramp done, unfortunately my brother already had other plans but he said he would come on Tuesday October 23rd and we could rip out the stairs. My husband and I worried and fretted about how to handle the situation with my sister in law. I finally told Darryl to call his sister and tell her if her son really wanted to do the ramp for his project he needed to come before Tuesday because I wasn't willing to call off my brother again just to have my nephew fail to show up yet again. On Sunday Darryl called his sister. She vacilated between crying and being mad. My sister in law tried to explain that the whole thing was tied up with the scout committee. I highly doubt its been tied up with the committee for 5 months. And remember how earlier I said I'd talk to her and she had said it had been approved. Well she then tried to say that they had approved it but then they sent it back and he needed to change it. Well Darryl kept asking her "what do you want me to do? We need the ramp and you can't give me even a time frame of when (your son) can do it and its supposed to start snowing this week." Well, Darryl left the phone call and asked her to think about it and they would talk on Monday. When Darryl talked to me about his phone call with his sister I understood her point of view and I knew she was mad because she thought I was demanding the ramp RIGHT NOW and she probably thought we were a bunch of ingrates but the reality is I actually wanted and needed the ramp back in August when school started. I waited and gave her son more time to allow him to do it. Its unbelievably difficult to get a 45 pound wheelchair with a 35 pound child in it down the stairs every single day! I can't even imagine having to do it in snow. So I offered to call his sister and explain that its not that we are ungrateful, it just needs to be done. Its hard on me, its hard on Georgia and we are out of time. So I spoke with my sister in law and I could tell that she was furious. I kept telling her that its not that we are ungrateful, its just that we need it. She said things like "well I know it hasn't looked like (my son) has done anything but he has put a lot of work into it" and "now I'm out $500 for the plans from the architect" (first of all there was no need for an architect to even be involved, I literally looked at our house and said "we need to just tear out the center section of the porch and have the ramp go out further into the yard." My brother looked at it and eyeballed it and we came up with our own plan). She also said "he's 16 and I can't just tell him to do it." Umm your his parent that's exactly what you are supposed to do. I don't know, I guess I was just raised differently. In my family you can't get your driver's license until your eagle project is done. Apparently in her family not only do you get your drivers license, you get a car, get to play golf, go on family vacations and go to school dances. So while we were talking I could tell how mad she was. I kept saying "I can tell you're mad and I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad. We just need the ramp. Its too hard on me and on Georgia and its going to snow soon." She said "well that's my choice and I can tell you've been mad for a while now and that's your choice so I guess you'll just have to do what you have to do." I again apologized and said that we were just going to have to do the ramp ourselves because we are out of time. If she had been able to give us a time frame that would have been one thing but she couldn't even do that so for all I know the ramp would be done next spring some time. So Darryl and I proceeded to make plans to do the ramp ourselves. My brother offered to come on Tuesday and I enlisted some men from the neighborhood to come help. Then a small miracle occurred. A contractor who is building some new homes in our neighborhood heard through the grapevine that we needed some help with the ramp. He offered to come tear out the contrete and haul it away free of charge. We also realised another small miracle. When we bought our house I was annoyed that our house was the only one without a cold storage area. Every other house that was like ours had cold storage under the porch. I now realize, after talking to my brother and a couple of contractors, if our house had cold storage we would not be able to tear out the section of porch we need to and we wouldn't be able to put in a ramp. Heavenly Father knew we someday would need a ramp and so our house is the only one without cold storage. I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the number of people who have stepped in and helped us build this ramp. Its unfortunate that my sister in law didn't understand our situation and my nephew was not able to get his project done but I am amazed at the kind and wonderful friends and strangers who have stepped up to make this happen for us.